thanks to all who have called/emailed/facebooked to inquire how we are doing.
the answer: we're managing. i'm doing a lot of baking. a LOT.
we don't have any answers. the autopsy and testing on max came back normal. i had a complete genetic work up done in october, which also came back normal.
i dream that i am laying down with max a few times a week. sometimes he is in my dreams alone, sometimes his sister joins him. there is always a light in the room, which i think is my mind speaking to our first loss. sometimes i wake up comforted and sometimes i wake up feeling so sad that i don't know if i will make it through the day.
and now i must be off...strawberry bread is coming out of the oven...